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The Way Of Preaching Family Who Do Shirk

Question : How to preach a family who do shirk?
Some ikhwah have problem with some of their families, they are father, mother, uncle or their kindred, they do a great shirk. For example they pray not to Allah, istighatsah to besides Allah, do not tawakkal to Allah, discredit Allah Ta’ala orreligious teachings, but they do not want to accept an advice. What is your advice about this? Sometimes, when an advice is given there will come a great slander (problem) between the ikhwah and his family. May Allah pay you with a goodness.

Answer :

Equip Yourself With a Right Aqeeda.

Syaikh Muhammad Ali Farkus hafizhahullah answers:

الحمد لله ربِّ العالمين، والصلاةُ والسلام على مَنْ أرسله الله رحمةً للعالمين، وعلى آله وصحبِه وإخوانِه إلى يوم الدِّين، أمَّا بعد

People who do great shirk have a right to get a wrath from Allah, and an absolute bara’ah (hatred) which there is no love or loyalty to them. Aqidah al wala wal bara (love for ahle iman and hatred for ahle shirk) is the strongest rope of faith. And the connecting rope that become a base of the Muslims’ construction. It is also a consequence and a valid requirement of shahada.

Allah Ta’ala said:

لَّا تَجِدُ قَوۡمٗا يُؤۡمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِ يُوَآدُّونَ مَنۡ حَآدَّ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ وَلَوۡ كَانُوٓاْ ءَابَآءَهُمۡ أَوۡ أَبۡنَآءَهُمۡ أَوۡ إِخۡوَٰنَهُمۡ أَوۡ عَشِيرَتَهُمۡ 

“You will not find the people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers, or their sons or their brothers or their kindred.” (QS. Al Mujadalah: 22)

The Prophet shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said:

لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ وَالِدِهِ وَوَلَدِهِ وَالنَّاسِ أَجْمَعِينَ
“None of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father, his children, and all mankind” (Hadith Bukhari 15 and Muslim 44).

Get Away From The Shirk Done by The Family.

And Allah Ta’ala has ordered His Prophet shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam to get away from his family and what they done, if it against what has ordered by Allah. In His saying:

أَنذِرۡ عَشِيرَتَكَ ٱلۡأَقۡرَبِينَ  وَٱخۡفِضۡ جَنَاحَكَ لِمَنِ ٱتَّبَعَكَ مِنَ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ  فَإِنۡ عَصَوۡكَ فَقُلۡ إِنِّي بَرِيٓءٞ مِّمَّا تَعۡمَلُونَ 

“And warn your closest kindred, and lower your wings to those who follow you of the believers. And if they disobey you, then say, “Indeed, I am disassociated from what you are doing.” 
(QS. Ash-Shu’ara: 216).

Get Away With a Good Manner and Morals Toward Family

However, getting way from their bad behavior doesn’t mean that we should say or do bad things to them. Even it is a mandatory to every Muslims to preach their family, their father, and their kindred toward Allah in a good way. Based on the word of

Allah Ta’ala:

فَذَكِّرۡ إِن نَّفَعَتِ ٱلذِّكۡرَىٰ

“So remind, if the reminder should benefit” (QS. Al A’laa: 9)

Getting away from a polytheist father doesn’t mean you turn to leave them, even keep together with them and treat them well. According to what is shown in the word of

Allah Ta’ala:

إِن جَٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشۡرِكَ بِي مَا لَيۡسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلۡمٞ فَلَا تُطِعۡهُمَاۖ وَصَاحِبۡهُمَا فِي ٱلدُّنۡيَا مَعۡرُوفٗا

“And if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, and accompany them in this world with appropriate kindness” (QS. Luqman: 15)

And the attitude toward a polytheist relative is like What we do to the polytheist parents. They still have a right to hospitality, right of living, and the right to be associated well. From the saying of

Allah Ta’ala:

ٱعۡبُدُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشۡرِكُواْ بِهِۦ شَيۡ‍ٔٗاۖ وَبِٱلۡوَٰلِدَيۡنِ إِحۡسَٰنٗا وَبِذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡيَتَٰمَىٰ وَٱلۡمَسَٰكِينِ وَٱلۡجَارِ ذِي ٱلۡقُرۡبَىٰ وَٱلۡجَارِ ٱلۡجُنُبِ وَٱلصَّاحِبِ بِٱلۡجَنۢبِ وَٱبۡنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَٰنُكُمۡ﴾

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess” (QS. An Nisa: 36)

Be Bold in Giving Tolerance Boundary

However, a nice association with them should not be in the level of supporting their kufr, or giving approval to the kufr. Moreover, if they stand against Islam then it is prohibited to give support. Even this will cause a kufr toward Allah Ta’ala.

Allah Ta’ala said:

مَن يَتَوَلَّهُم مِّنكُمۡ فَإِنَّهُۥ مِنۡهُمۡ

“Whoever is an ally to them among you then indeed he is one of them” (QS. Al Maidah: 51).

Besides, in preaching, the ikhwah should use a gentle method. Avoid a rigid and rude attitude in preaching. Avoid the harsh attitude that make people run away from religion. According to Allah

Ta’ala word:

ٱدۡعُ إِلَىٰ سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِٱلۡحِكۡمَةِ وَٱلۡمَوۡعِظَةِ ٱلۡحَسَنَةِۖ وَجَٰدِلۡهُم بِٱلَّتِي هِيَ أَحۡسَنُ

“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best” (QS. An Nahl: 125).

Prioritize to Use a Gentle Preaching Method

This gentle preaching method that become the main cause of the delivered preach and the guidance of the du’at to commoner. And Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said:

لَأَنْ يَهْدِيَ اللهُ بِكَ رَجُلًا وَاحِدًا خَيْرٌ لَكَ مِنْ أَنْ يَكُونَ لَكَ حُمْرُ النَّعَمِ

“If Allah guides a person through you, that is better for you than to possess the most valuable camels” (Hadith Bukhari 3009, Muslim 2406).

والعلم عند الله تعالى، وآخِرُ دعوانا أنِ الحمدُ لله ربِّ العالمين، وصلَّى الله على نبيِّنا محمَّدٍ وعلى آله وصحبِه وإخوانِه إلى يوم الدِّين، وسلَّم تسليمًا.

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